8.20.2008

Blood test results.....


Bear with me....this is going to be a long post.

Okay...last week I got a ton of blood work done. Today I got my results in the mail. I had several abnormal results. I set out to see what they meant on the wonderful world wide web. The first several were all related and fell under the CBC that I had done.


MCH - Mean Corpuscular Hemoglobin Ref. Range 27.5 - 33.5
Measures the amount of hemoglobin in red blood cells. Both hemoglobin and hematocrit are used to calculate this number. Low levels indicate anemia. Mine was low - 26.1


RDW - level is increased and the MCV level is normal. This can be caused by the beginning stages of a decrease in vitamin B12 or folic acid (a type of vitamin) in the body. It can also be caused by the beginning stages of iron deficiency anemia. Mine was high - 17.5


Both of the results made perfect sense to me. I have been dealing with being anemic since my gastric bypass surgery but I stopped taking my iron when I started on Prenatal pills because I thought I would receive enough through them. I guess I was wrong....back on the iron. B12 deficiency is also something that gastric bypass patients deal with. I have been taking B complex supplements as well.

This is the part that really fit together and made sense. Here is an article that I found online. I got tears in my eyes when I read it. I don't know why. I guess because it all made to much sense. Here it is....


Blood Sugar Levels and Infertility - Are they related?


Copyright 2001 by Lee James, used with permission.



Do your eyes burn so bad at times, that you think to just pluck them out would be much less painful than keeping them open? Or do you sometimes feel so nauseous in the middle of the morning or afternoon, that you actually convince yourself you must be pregnant to feel so sick? How about dizziness? Or headaches? Or have you experienced a racing heart, a flushed face and sweaty palms? Or do you have a grumpy demeanor for no reason at all at times?
All of these, can be, and usually are, symptoms of either hypoglycemia or hyperglycemia. Hypoglycemia is commonly referred to as "low blood sugar", or problems with your blood sugar dropping unusually low after a meal. This sudden drop in blood sugar, often causes symptoms, which although may vary for each individual, often include, a sudden feeling of tiredness, burning eyes, a feeling of lethargy, and often times a headache and/or dizziness.
Hyperglycemia is typically defined as the opposite of hypoglycemia. It is "high blood sugar", meaning your blood sugar usually spikes too high sometimes after a meal, and sometimes in-between meals. Hyperglycemia can often be detected by a feeling of nervousness or jitteriness, a racing heart and pulse, sweaty palms, and also a headache.
Both of these conditions are caused by an imbalance in blood sugar levels and both can be equally destructive. As well, it is rare to experience one without eventually experiencing the other. More often than not, you will experience one or the other much more frequently, and the other form only occasionally. But be aware that both hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia cause many health related problems and can eventually cause diabetes if left untreated.
What you may ask, does this have to do with infertility?
Well, a lot. Hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia are caused by your body’s difficulty to maintain satisfactory insulin levels. Heredity plays a big part in your body’s ability to maintain these levels, and some people are born with a condition called insulin resistance. For many of you with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, insulin resistance is a term you are very familiar with.
Insulin resistance is a condition where the cells of your body do not effectively receive the insulin your body produces. Therefore your cells trigger your brain to produce even more insulin thinking there is not enough. The end result is an overproduction of insulin. And since insulin is a hormone, the result is a hormone imbalance. This hormone imbalance can then cause any number of side effects from cysts on your ovaries, to overgrowth of bodily hair, to random swelling of your breasts, to very painful menstrual like cramping. But the key here is the hormonal imbalance.
Unfortunately, all our hormones are intricately linked together and a disturbance with one, can cause a rippling effect with all the rest of your hormones, including your estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels. These hormone imbalances are what lead to infertility. And since insulin is a hormone, it is very important to recognize the role it plays when trying to achieve pregnancy. And likewise, since hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia are caused by unsatisfactory insulin levels, it can only lead one to the conclusion that controlling these conditions as much as possible can only aid in the quest for fertility. And not only fertility, but also the betterment of your health and well being in general.
But how do you go about controlling hypoglycemia and hyperglycemia? Well to be honest, it will take a lot of work and a lot of perseverance on your part. It will take a lot of trial and error and a great deal of getting to know your body - of being able to read the signs your body is giving you and knowing what to do when you recognize those signs. It will be a daily battle, and it will be something you will fight the rest of your life. But acknowledging the condition, and committing to the fight, is half the battle as they say. And the fight is definitely worth the effort when you consider the devastating impact of leaving hyperglycemia and hypoglycemia unchecked.
There are several medications out there that can aid in insulin resistance and concurrently aid in hypoglycemia or hyperglycemia such as metformin. However, every person’s body is different, and not everyone will react the same.
For myself, my six-month stint with Metformin did virtually nothing to improve my insulin resistance. For others, it is all they need to obtain a good hormone balance and then pregnancy. All I can do is offer you tips and explain how my body acts and reacts and hope that you might find something useful in my words that will help you control your hypo or hyperglycemia, and hopefully lead you to a well (hormonally) balanced body and mind and eventually to pregnancy.
For myself, my main difficulty is hypoglycemia, with occasional hyperglycemia. After several years of trial and error I have learned to read my symptoms and trigger foods and have found many ways to combat and/or prevent the symptoms of hypoglycemia.
Eat protein with every meal (meat, eggs, nuts, cheese, milk, etc.) (This is especially important for breakfast and lunch).
Avoid sugar (this includes fruit and fruit juices. Or if you’re like every other woman in the US and just can’t pass up the chocolate, eat sugar with a meal, and preferably with protein, to counterbalance the effect sugar will cause).
Eat carbohydrates cautiously, and if possible combine with protein.
Avoid snacking and in-between meals, (or if you must, snack on something containing protein or complex carbohydrates, such as whole grain crackers or beef jerky).
Avoid simple carbohydrates and stick to whole grains, oats, and vegetables, as these will take longer for your body to burn off, and your blood sugar will not peak as quickly or dramatically and then crash just the same.
Exercise. (It has been proven to help balance insulin levels, by increasing blood flow through your cells.)
Take vitamins. (Vitamins such as E, C, B, Calcium, Potassium, and a daily multi-vitamin, help to balance sugar levels, and fortify your cells).
Ultimately, if the food you are eating is not right for your body, you will be able to tell by how your body reacts.
Consequently, this is where the trial and error comes in. Everyone’s bodies will react differently to individual foods. So pay close attention to what you are eating and when. Eating foods that take longer to burn off such as protein and complex carbohydrates will prevent the sudden rise and fall in blood sugar levels that sugars and simple carbohydrates will cause. For when your blood sugar suddenly falls, or "crashes", is when you will experience symptoms of hypoglycemia. For many people these symptoms come about an hour or two after eating, and for some who are severely hypoglycemic such as myself, they can come as quickly as 10 minutes after a meal. The important thing is to recognize what foods trigger this reaction, and then avoid them if possible.
Although at the moment you may not even realize you have hyperglycemia or hypoglycemia, I encourage all of you women trying to get pregnant to really listen to what your bodies are telling you. Instead of dismissing the signs and symptoms you are having as mere feelings of fatigue or illness, try really hearing what your body is saying and focusing on your overall health. Ultimately, it will be the state of your health that will determine the state of your fertility.


So prior to surgery I was borderline diabetic and now I'm hypoglycemic. Can't I just be normal???? Why does this all have to be such a struggle and what is wrong with my body. Ugh...I feel even more doctors visits and blood work in my future. My arms haven't cleared up from the last batch yet.


Tomorrow I go to the Imaging Center so they can check out my fallopian tubes. Crossing my fingers that this doesn't get even more involved......





8.17.2008

Never, never, never give up!


Winston Churchhill's famous college grad speech......"Never, never, never give up!"


Of sandcastles and butterflys.....



This email was in my mailbox this morning. It's from another friend of mine who unlike me has not been given the chance to love even one child of her own....don't get me wrong. She loves her step son with all her heart but unless you've been there you can't understand that it's just not the same......Thank you sweetie.


hey, i had this poem in my blog archives... so i'm not sure if you've ever seen it. anyway, cool seeing you friday!!!

Holding on to Hope

As little girls with well loved dolls,
we dreampt of being "Mommy".
As teenagers with the hope of love,
we named each child so secretly.
As loving wives we have waited
for these dreams, so patiently.
And as it stands, there is still hope,
but it comes and goes so easily.

As the butterfly comes to visit,
but flutters away the very next instant...
So is the hope for many.
As the dawn promises the day,
just for dusk to take it away...
So is the hope for many.
As castles of sand stand tall,
'till the tide, as is life, dictates "that's all"...
So is the hope for many.
And as the days pass,
it becomes harder, and harder still-
to play in the sand,
to look to the sunrise,
or notice the butterfly at all.
And so is the hope for me.

Pen in hand, I wonder...
What is there to say?
I know I am not alone, but oh!
doesn't it so often feel that way?
Go ahead and say it is my fault-
I already feel that you do.
I don't blame you for not understanding,
You don't really know unless it's you.

But it's here that I find true release,
because you each know what it's like.
I know I'm not the only one who's done their time
being the Nanny, not the Mommy...
the Caregiver, not the Mommy...
the Teacher, not the Mommy...
the Step-Mom, not the real Mom...
or perhaps, the "Greatest Aunt in the World".

And what of God, in all of this?
Lord, I think we've suffered long enough.
Wasn't it You who placed the longing in us?
Oh, to hear my own child say "Mommy".
I've heard that You will sometimes place
a weakness where there is a strength,
So I thank You, kindly, for the compliment...
but where is my baby?

Where is life as I had hoped,
Where is the life of my dreams?
If one more person says to me,
"Oh you are so young, you have plenty of time."
I am seriously going to scream.
I spend my days counting down to "30",
I never have to worry about "the tide"...
it never comes.
And I've grown awfully fond
of the hair on my chin.
(yeah, right)

So, where is my hope?

There is hope in juicing carrots,
There is hope in drinking barley,
There is hope in organic raw foods,
There is hope in the pavement under my feet...
Every step of the journey, is the journey, afterall.
There is hope in the love of my husband,
And the promises of my God.

And we know that in all things
God works for the good of those
who love Him-
Give thanks in all circumstances-
Seek first His kingdom
and His righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you-
I can do everything through
Him who gives me strength.-
By His stripes, I am healed.

Ladies, we have been so brave.
We have dreampt so big.
We have held onto hope with both hands.
It's time to open those hands,
and share our hope with each other.
One day we just might be
chasing butterflies with our daughters,
and building sandcastles with our sons.

8.15.2008

So Much for Fun and Frolic.....

So if i ever see another butterfly needle it will definately be to soon. After 6 vials of blood yesterday and So if I ever see another butterfly needle again it will be to soon. I'm sure I will see another one shortly. I mean 11 or 12 vials of blood in two days couldn't possibly be enough. My arms arm both sore. The lady blew out my vein on the one side so I a have big bruise on one side and it's all hard underneath the skin. Lovely. I basically look like I've been shooting Smack without the benefit of the high. I was told I needed to make an appointment today to get more blood drawn because I had to do a fasting 2 hour glucose test. Yeah....the kind you do when your pregnant. So I took the 7 am appointment because it was right when they opened and since I was going to have to take my 6 year old with me I figured we would be the first ones and then we wouldn't have to wait anymore then the two hours. In theory that all should have worked just as I planned. We got there at 6:55 and there were 6 people already waiting. I didn't know you had to camp out the night before to be the first person in line. I'm still not sure why I had to make a 7am appointment because they never even registered me until 7:45. They took me back and took 5 or so (i lost count) vials out of one arm and then gave me this nasty drink. I had 5 minutes to drink it. I tasted like really really really really really sweet orange kool aid. After all of that my time could start. So needless to say, we didn't get out of there until after 10 o'clock. My son was a trooper. I had him pack a bag with a bunch of things to do and he did really well. It probably also helped that I promised him Pizza Hut afterwards! I was starvin after all I hadn't eatin at all yet.
They called from Shady Grove and said we had to reschedule Glenn's appointment to the following week because their andrologist wasn't going to be in that day.....grrrrrrr. He had already asked off work and I had rearranged my schedule. Okay...so we did that and I have my HSG scheduled for next Thursday. I have to also start on birth control pills for the next 3 weeks. They want to see if that will help to dissolve the cyst that is on my ovary. After 3 weeks they want us to go in and meet with Dr. McKeeby again. I don't know where we will go from there. And these are the days of our lives.........

8.14.2008

And so it goes.....


Well, Monday afternoon I got my period. Yes, it finally came. I had no clue it was coming. No cramping or bloating. It was just there. I called Shady Grove and set up my day 3 appt. I just got back from it now. I needed to be in at 7:30 and when I got there it was packed. There was hardly a place to sit in the waiting room. Apparently it was the place to be and I didn't even know it. I sat waiting for the nurse to call my name and I started to look around the room. There was no rhyme or reason to the people sitting there. Not that I expected there to be but I guess it just hit me looking around. Some women were young and some older and all different colors and sizes. It was almost like someone rolled a dice and said, "You, you and you, step to the right. You will have the struggle of infertility in your lives. Everyone else to the left." and there we were. No one looked very happy and after all I guess no one probably was really excited about sitting in a fertillity clinic. I mean of course the dream of having a baby is wonderful but it's the getting there that sucks. Oh and there is something else I have been thinking about this week too. I was perusing some infertility forums and message boards on the computer. Maybe I was hoping to find a magic cure or some support or just another reminder that there are other people in the world dealing with what we are dealing with. I started to feel really bad for the frustration I have had and the feelings that encompass this whole ordeal. There are couples out there that have tried for 10 years or more - pills, injections, IUI, and several rounds of IVF only to end up with nothing...no baby....no gold at the end of the rainbow. It makes me feel selfish that I am as frustrated as I am. Yeah I have been trying to have a baby for years but I haven't actually been actively persuing it for all that time...not in fertility treatments anyway. I got frustrated again today because I thought we were going to be able to start medication this cycle but I guess we won't be able to. I will probably have to induce my period next month and then go from there. In the grand scheme of things for us though that is only one month not 8 years and definately not the end of the line. I knew this was going to take time....Ijust don't want it too. The other thing I noticed that I really never thought about before is that I probably fit more nicely into the Secondary Infertility catagory since I have my little miracle child. I started to think of the contrast between Secondary Infertility and those that are point blank infertile (like I was told I'd be). I guess I feel guilty too that I am so anxious to have another baby when there are women that just want their first one. Ok....so I started thinking about the pro's and con's of both (as if one is any better then the other).

Here is what I came up with.....


Infertility-

Pro's

-they have never felt a baby grow in them so they don't know what they are missing and how wonderful it feels.

-they don't know how it feels to have a child born to them and what a bond that creates and how much we wish it to happen again.


Con's

- They have never even once had the chance to feel the miracle of life growing inside of them.

-They have never gotten that BFP (big fat positive) or the joy and excitement that comes with it.

-They have gotten one negative after another negative after another negative.......

-They have never had the excitement of their child coming into the world....not even once.



Secondary Infertility

Pro's

- I have gotten one negative after another negative after another negative BUT there was a suprise Positive in the middle of them

- I know what it's like to feel the excitment of finding out that I am pregnant.

-I know what it is like to feel my child inside of me, to give birth to it and to hold MY child in my arms.

-I have had the opportunity to watch my child grow and learn and develop and will have that for many years to come.

-I can wrap my arms around my little man whenever I want.


Ok....i need to wipe the tears out of my eyes......


Con's

- All of the things that I listed above as Pro's because I have had that experience and I know how wonderful it feels and I know what I am missing.

-The frustration of "if my body could do it once then why the hell can't it do it again."

- The return of negative after negative after negative....."Sorry your not a winner this time but please try again."


My conclusion.....they both suck, really suck and cause lots of pain and hurt but for very different reasons. I guess I feel like I should be thankful that I had that experience once and I am....I really am but I want to be able to share that with Glenn too. I want that to be a part of our lives and to complete us as well. I guess I'm just being selfish in the end.

So...back to today. I got 6 vials of blood drawn for testing. I believe it was an STD panel and hormone levels again. I am supposed to be getting the results when Dana calls this afternoon. I know the STD test will all come back negative but I'm curious to see what she has to say about my hormone levels. I came home and sceduled blood work for tomorrow morning. I have to do a 2 hour glucose test. I did one when I was pregnant with Owen. Basically I will have to drink this nasty drink and then sit there for two hours and then they can draw the blood. There are some other blood tests that go along with that as well. Between the cycle days 6-12 I have to go to the imaging center and they with check my fallopian tubes. I guess by MRI....I'm not sure. Anyway, next Wed. we have an appointment for Glenn to drop off his sperm sample and he has bloodwork that he needs to have done too. I think his is the STD and hormonal set that I had done today. And after that we can breathe....no more tests for a little while I don't think. After all of that is done we meet with Dr Mceeby again for some more talk. I guess we will take all the "evidence" and decide where we go from there. That wore me out just writing it! Busy times....but that's good because it means we are progressing one step at a time.

8.10.2008

Insert Jepordy Song Here......

I finished taking my Provera a week ago today and I haven't gotten my period yet. I don't even feel like it's coming. I had thought I remembered someone previously telling me that it could take up to a week after completing the pills for your period to start. I called Dana on Fri and she said it could take up to two weeks....so I guess I have another week in front of me. I don't remember it ever taking this long for me to get my period after taking the Provera. My mom and I were joking on the phone that my period isn't coming because I am already pregnant....wouldn't that be something. I'm sure it's not an issue...they would have caught it somewhere between the blood work and the ultrasound that I had done the other week I'm sure. Anyway....the wait continues...feeling impatient and sad today.